Andy Naselli links to Kevin DeYoung’s article on being too nice, that is, offering praise before you offer criticism. It’s a good article worth your time.
I think a related issue that DeYoung doesn’t address directly is that people are unable to separate criticism of ideas from criticism of the person.
They assume that if you attack their ideas you are attacking them. I was reminded of this in a recent personal exchange.
The fact is that some people just have bad ideas. That doesn’t make them a bad person … well, apart from the whole idea of being a sinner.
To point out a bad idea, or to critique a poor one is not the same thing as making a personal attack. To point out a loose use of words, or a confusing use of words, or to ask for clarification is not ungodly, nor inappropriate. And if you don’t want to explain it, that’s not the fault of the person asking, and you might think about whether or not you should say it if you don’t want to explain it.
In the “feel good” world that exists today, people think you can’t criticize, or at least can’t criticize them, even though they are perfectly willing to criticize others often without merit and without grace.
Here’s a good word for us all: Get over yourself.
If someone criticizes your idea, it may not be about you. They may not even be thinking about you. In fact, they may not even know you. They just don’t like your idea.
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