Lost It?

Sometimes, I can’t find something.

Now occasionally it is because I tend to worship at the idol of convenience. I lay my keys down at the first available flat spot, regardless of where it might be. And sometimes the spot isn’t flat, so they fall somewhere else.

I put my wallet near me, where “me” happens to be at that time. After all, that’s easier than walking three steps across the room to put my wallet and keys in the key holder by the front door.

True story (you can ask my mom; she will probably remember): When I was in high school, I lost my baseball glove for the better part of an off-season. I finally found it one day. I had put a ball in it and put it under my mattress to help form it. One day I finally wondered why the foot of my bed had a lump in it. I found out why … and found my glove at the same time.

Another true story: I spent over an hour one day in my office looking for my keys. I found them hanging on my belt, where I kept them in those days. You would have though the jingling of the keys every time I moved might have been a tip-off. Nope, not for me.

Mostly, I can’t find something because the last time I used it was so long ago that I don’t remember where I put it. The less I use something, the less inclined I am to remember where to find it.

Sometimes I hear people (or read people) use the Scriptures in a particularly insightful way. I wonder, “How do they do that?” And then I remember it is because they use the Scripture all the time. They don’t misplace the stuff of Scripture because it gets used to regularly in their lives.

The reason most of us don’t use Scripture very well, either in our own lives or in the lives of others, is because we don’t use it very often.

Scripture is given to us to shape our thinking and beliefs, and therefore to shape our lives.

It is the knife of a surgeon, carefully cutting away the disease. It is the hands of a mother, tenderly caring for a scraped knee. It is the instruction of artisan, patiently explaining his trade to an apprentice. It is the wrench of a mechanic, skillfully fixing that which is broken. It is the arms of a father, strongly holding his child during a thunderstorm of life.

It is the word of the living God, giving life to the dead and preparing them for eternity.

Love it enough to know it. Use it enough to find it when you need it.

Rick Thomas on Counselor Training

Rick Thomas has some good thoughts on counselor training that are worth reading.

This is right on target:

I would recommend a theological degree over a counseling degree because counseling is the application of theology (Practical Theology) and if a person is not trained in theology, they will have a difficult time applying (counseling) what they do not know.

A major weakness with many biblical counselors is their limited understanding of the Bible. If God’s Word gives us all we need for life and godliness (See 2 Peter 1:3) then you cannot skip this point and move into methodology (counselor training).

If I had to choose between a theology degree and a counseling degree, I would pursue the theology degree every time.

Memo to Governor Sanford

SHUT UP ALREADY!!!!

We don’t need to know all this stuff. Just because people ask questions doesn’t mean you need to answer.

But Sanford demonstrates the lengths to which hurting, deceived, and confused people go. They will talk to anyone who will listen. And rarely do they listen to the people they should, and rarely talk only to the people they should.

No one needs an explanation of his “tragic love story.” No one needs to know he found his “soul mate” who is not his wife. The public doesn’t need to know he crossed boundaries with other women.

He is trying to defend the indefensible. He is the classic case of, “I did wrong, but …” Everything that comes after “but” cancels out everything that comes before. He is rationalizing why it was wrong, but it was really okay.

Governor, the news media is not interested in helping you restore your marriage, your spiritual life, or regain integrity. They are interested in one thing, and it’s not even the integrity of state government. They are interested in selling newspapers. They know if they can keep publishing stories about you, people will come back and read them.

You don’t need a news reporter.

You need a biblically grounded pastor who will lovingly get in your face and call you on the carpet. Who will use the word to confront you in your deception, self-absorption, lack of transparency, and immoral thinking. He needs to tell you your biggest problem wasn’t emails, or trips to NYC, or Argentina. Your biggest problem is far deeper. It is a love in your life that allowed you to think those things were okay.

You need to spend much time in the Word, in self-examination in light of Scripture. It will take honesty (something you have struggled with, it appears). It will take courage. But this is what repentant people do.

You also need accountability. This means you need a man who will travel with you everywhere you go and stay in the same room with you unless you are with your wife or your sons. You will have no phone conversations, emails, or other forms of communication that this person is not a part of. He will stand outside the bathroom door until you come out (and you will not take your cell phone with you in the bathroom since you have proven you cannot be trusted in this area). He must be strong enough to take the guff you will give him and strong enough not to give in your sensual, deceived mind. He must be vocal enough to say, “No, not on my watch. You’re not doing that.” There will come a time when the “body man” won’t be necessary anymore. But that time is not now, as you proved by going to NYC with your “spiritual advisor” and committing adultery anyway. If you had done what I am suggesting, he would have had to watch,and I bet things would have been different.

You need to begin to rebuild personal trust and integrity through the establishment of walls and boundaries. Walls won’t always work, and they won’t make you more godly, but they will help protect you until your spiritual strength is sufficient to hold you up. And they are necessary on the road to restoration to God and family.

So three kind of random-ish things:

First, in counseling and discipleship, make people stop before the “but.” Exploring reasons and thinking may be helpful, but not after the “but.” “I did wrong. Period.”

Second, only talk to people who matter and people who can help. One of the worst things you can do in pain is talk to everybody. You want a friendly ear, someone to sympathize. You want to explain. Once you have worn one ear out, you will go looking for another. Why? Because you are self-absorbed in your own pain, and you can’t understand that everyone else doesn’t feel the way you do. You think they want to talk about it as much as you do. Get over yourself. Stop talking about it all the time.

Third, in your life, develop relationships with one or two trusted people who know you well. When hard times come, talk to them and them alone. Make sure they are godly. Make sure they have a biblical understanding of sin and deception. Make sure they aren’t too chicken to say what needs to be said. Make sure they aren’t too calloused to love genuinely.