Studies That Prove ...

Reading another blog today brought a smile to my face. It was discussing the issue of friendliness in the church, a needed discussion, IMO. But what made me laugh was the paragraph,

Studies have shown that the single most important factor in predicting whether a church will grow is not the number of visitors that come through the doors; it is the percentage of them that stick around. It is the Velcro Factor; not the Magnet Factor.

And I thought, "No kidding." Do we really need a study to tell that us that churches where the visitors don't "stick around" won't grow? I thought that was obvious.

It kind of reminds of the studies that show that men and women are different. Save the money and buy me dinner. It would be a more productive use of the grant money.

Overall, I thought the article on friendliness was good. I think far too often, our churches are closed off to people they don't know, or who aren't like them. I remember visiting a church by myself one time. It was a large fundamental church (600+ on Sunday mornings), very traditional in its style and format, previously pastored by one man for more than forty years. The new pastor had been there around eight years as I recall. It was the church that my wife grew up in, but I had visited there only on several occasions with her, and knew only two or three people in the church.

I arrived about five minutes early, walked in to the church through the main doors, walked through the lobby behind the auditorium to the far side (probably 50 yards or so of mingling people, conversing with one another), went in and sat about four rows from the back. After church, I walked back across the lobby, stopped in the restroom, walked out the door, got in my car, and drove home. I walked to the far side on purpose, as a part of my experiement.

In that whole time, I was greeted by one person ... a man on crutches in the parking lot who arrived at the same time I did. He said, "Hi, how are you?" One other person gave me a brief nod on the way out. I left thinking to myself how unfriendly that church was. They all talked to people they knew, but no one stopped me to shake my hand, introduce themselves, ask if they could help me find something. I was a total stranger and no one said anything to me.

I contrasted that experience with the experience I had earlier that morning when I visited a large seeker church in the greater Chicago area. (Yes, that's the one.) When I got there, there were people directing parking. Within ten seconds of walking through the door, a man with a nametag shook our hands, looked us in the eye, and introduced himself, asking where we were from and if this was our first time. He asked if he could help us find something, so we asked where the restrooms were. He told us how to get there and then told us how to find our way back to the auditorium. When we got to the auditorium doors, there were people with bulletins (is that what they call them???) who shook our hands again.

I contrast these two experiences in my mind. In both, I was totally unknown to the people in the church. In both, I walked in five or so minutes before the church started. In both, I was dressed in "business casual" type dress, as a clean cut, professional looking man. But in one, I was warmly greeted, made to feel welcome, and asked if I could be directed somewhere. In the other, I was almost completely ignored, save for one man hobbling on two crutches.

I think sometimes we need to step back and imagine ourselves as visitors to our own church. If we did not know anyone, how would our experience be? And having done that study, what do we need to do that change it to make it better.

Don't think I am downplaying the role of the Word in drawing people to church. I most certainly am not. I am not talking about salvation by friendship. The Word is what will save people. But let's be honest. The relationships that we build with people will often determine what church they attend, and whether or not they come back to ours. We need to be visitor sensitive, in the right sense. Imagine yourself going some place totally new, and imagine your feelings and fears. Ask yourself what would make it easier for you. And then start to put it to practice.