I was sitting here working this morning and in the midst of my concentration, I had kind of zoned out of the (rather dull) conversation elsewhere.
My ears perked up when I heard, "I am trying to watch my mouth because the preacher is here."
I confessed that I had no idea what the conversation was about.
But it reminds me of this: People in the world expect something different of believers, and recognize that certain things are incompatible with the little they know of Christianity.
Playing golf over the years I have joined up and played with a lot of different people, most of whom had something in common: their expectations of their game far exceeded their ability, though it did not exceed their vocabulary. Of course, I have learned some rather creative ways to employ language.
But almost every time, when the conversation turned to occupations and they found out I was a pastor, an apology would come from the same mouth as the profanity had. Why? Because people in the world expect something different from believers, particularly pastors.
If I had a dollar for every apology I have heard on the golf course, I could play a lot of golf. Unfortunately, I don't have the dollar and I haven't played much golf in the last couple of years, though I hope to change that this year.
But back to the point, the world knows we are supposed to be different. So why aren't we?
4 comments:
I'll pose another question...why would they feel a need to change their vocabulary when you are around? Are they afraid that their language offends you? And if it does, so what? Would you think less of them? Can you impose some sort of judgment on them? I wonder if there is a polite way to say to them "I appreciate the effort, but it really isn't necessary...I don't have any expectations with respect to your conversation other than it be civil."
Interesting question, Pat. I have thought about it before but never come to a firm conclusion.
I think some view a pastor as a surrogate for God, so when they say something that they know is offensive to God, they assume that it is offensive to the preacher as well. I haven't worded that well, but perhaps it makes some sense.
I have never expected people to change their language. I expect unbelievers to act like unbelievers. I have been tempted, at times, to say "I'm not the one you offended." But I usually am, not because I am a pastor, but because I am a human being who thinks that points can be made through conversation apart from verbal punctuation of that type.
But by and large, I find profanity useless ... civilly offensive as well as theologically offensive.
I was in McDonald's with my son last night, and some teenage girl with her boyfriend (I suppose) was sitting a few tables away generously salting her speech with a certain word that begins with f. I was amazed that she would do it so publicly.
I guess civil decency isn't common anymore.
Remember that court case a few years ago here in Michigan about public profanity? Some guy got a ticket for profanity while canoing in the presence of other people. I think the court threw the ticket out and essentially overturned the law.
I trust all is well with you and your family.
When it comes to profanity (in the strict sense), I am offended because it's an offense to God. And I can see why an apology might be appropriate. With respect to obscenities and vulgarities, if I'm the only one around I might cringe, but I don't get "offended". My judgmental spirit might want to get offended, but I can't get angry with the world acting like the world any more than I can get angry with a blind man for running into the furniture. Both are merely manifesting actions that are consistent with their condition.
I probably would draw a distinction when it comes to this type of conduct in front of my children. But that goes to my expectation that everyone's conduct be civil, and in that case there is a different standard of conduct that people should abide by when children are present.
All is well with us. Maybe you guys can make your way toward Chicago some time and see us (or perhaps we can make our way down to see you when we make one of our rare trips to Michigan).
Hi Larry,
Interestingly, tonight I went with my son to a local ECHL playoff game. In the announcements before the game, they made a statement to the effect that "there are children here, so please refrain from profanity, use of profanity will be grounds for removal' etc.
I was amazed!
And of course, they had some awful music playing between every faceoff -- the din was incredible, and possibly the music was profane, but it was so loud and raucous, no one could tell. I don't go to many games (first one in years!) for that reason alone.
Anyway, the profanity announcement was surprising to me.
As for why people apologize when they find out I'm a preacher... I do think it is because their conscience is pricked and they do associate us with God. Even if they don't 'officially' believe in God. And I have used the line that it isn't me they are offending. So far it hasn't brought about any repentance, but at least some carnal satisfaction on my part!
Regards,
Don Johnson
Jer 33.3
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