The gender gap is not a distinctly American one but it is a Christian one, according to Murrow. The theology and practices of Judaism, Buddhism and Islam offer "uniquely masculine" experiences for men, he said.Murrow says on Sunday morning, "we're going to sing love songs to Jesus and there's going to be fresh flowers on the altar and quilted banners on the walls."
"Every Muslim man knows that he is locked in a great battle between good and evil, and although that was a prevalent teaching in Christianity until about 100 years ago, today it's primarily about having a relationship with a man who loves you unconditionally," Murrow said.
"And if that's the punch line of the Gospel, then you're going to have a lot more women than men taking you up on your offer because women are interested in a personal relationship with a man who loves you unconditionally. Men, generally, are not."
Perhaps the church needs to quit complaining about the lack of strong men and ask what we are doing that is perpetuating the problem.
I am quite sure that the problem is real. Next time you are watching some TV preacher, pay close attention when they pan the audience. See who is in it. Next time you sit in church, look around at who is there.
I am not quite sure what causes the problem, nor how we fix it. So if you, speak up.
5 comments:
I heard one preacher talk about this same topic (at a Men's retreat of course--where women were not present) and he pointed out the truth that often the Lord talked about the kingdom which has somewhat of a masculine appeal versus the whole relationship teaching. It is up to us as preachers to preach strong messages straight from the Word. God's Word appeals to both men and women, but most of it talks of masculine topics--fighting the good fight, the sword of the Spirit, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, quit you like men, the armor of God, being strong in the Spirit, and the list goes on. All we need to do is preach the Word and we will automatically appeal more to the men. It is when we put our own analogies in that we get off track.
I think men relate to knowledge and the church has not been about diseminating the knowledge of God. When the church becomes a self-help center and the gospel is reduced to a formula for a better life then facts about God are not necessary. **Knowing about God is not a relationship with God but we cannot relate to God without knowing things about him.** We have to get back to indoctrinating people and then teaching them how that impacts their life every day as they work, play and spend time with their families.
Thanks for commenting, friends.
I think it is simplistic and impossible to just "preach the word ... automatically appeal to more men." The reason is because preaching taking place in a context. Preaching the word in room with hot pink walls is not going to have the same effect as preaching in a room with white walls. The atmosphere matters. You can't escape it. And atmosphere says something about who you are and what you are appealing to. There's a lot of implications of that and I am (probably unfortunately) thinking out loud about it here. But you can't divorce the preaching from the context in which it is taking place. We understand the role of ambiance in virtually every area of life. Most of us don't plan a romantic night with our wives that includes strobe lights, drag races, or poker games. That is not likely to appeal to her sensibilities. In the same way, our men's get togethers usually don't involve candles and doilies, with dainty tea cups and sugar cubes. Don't we understand the role of ambiance almost intuitively in many cases? How does that apply to church?
John, I think knowledge is a part of it, but not all. The church is too often therapeutic. I think we have to teach and apply it, but I am not sure that we have the emphasis and presentation that appeals to men in our preaching. I don't think men are about knowledge. I think men are about living and doing. They don't want a life filled with knowledge but more likely one filled with action, with calls to commitment, and challenges to live it out. Again, I am thinking out loud here.
I also think that we who have grown up in church are vastly different in this respect than those who haven't. I think that has some effect, though I am not sure what all the effect is.
Larry, the article references a book by David Murrow (and interviews the author) called, Why Men Hate Going to Church. I picked this book up about 6 months ago and, coincidentally, have just recently started reading it.
Since Suzanne and I have our hands full with Hannah and Jeffrey just now, I've had very little time to read and am only 50 pages into it. It is hard to get a read on the author's theology, and there are some things he said that you and I and guys like us just cannot accept theologically.
But, for the most part, I think he has a lot to say to the church (generically) today and I find his book challenging so far. One point to mention here: Jon, the author says that part of our problem is that we are too classroom oriented in church. He claims that men, generally, did not like school and do not get excited about school-type environments. I was inclined to dispute this, but after some reflection, I think he has a point. Many men--you, me, Larry, and lots of others, to be sure, do like to learn and are not threatned by classrooms. But, admittedly, there are lots of guys--blue collar, NASCAR-types who do feel this way. If our churches only offer learning that is classroom-oriented and not "hands on," we will have more difficulty attracting the latter type of man.
Also, Larry, Murrow says you are right: men who are raised in church are more likely to keep attending. He says that we're used to the things that make other men uncomfortable. They probably don't excite us the way they do for women in the church, but they don't repel us like they do unchurched men just because we are used to them. What are talking about here, specifically? Well, it is things like "Jesus' love" which for unchurched men has homosexual connotations that it doesn't for us.
Mark Driscoll was the first one who made me aware of this. In Radical Reformission, you'll recall Larry, that he talked about finding a church where the pastor could talk about Jesus without making Driscoll feel like a homosexual. That was strange to me; as someone raised in church, I never thought of Christianity with any kind of sexual connotations in terms of our relationship to God. But Driscoll was not raised in the church, so perhaps his perceptions are more in keeping with what unchurched men experience when they come to church.
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