Weird News Week

Is it just me, or is it really weird that the two biggest current news stories (aside from gun control … maybe more on that later) are a story about a guy who had a pretend girlfriend (I dare one guy to claim he never had one) and a guy who took drugs in professional sports (Did anyone believe he didn’t?).

Is this a slow news week or not?

I used to be a huge cycling fan, back in the days of Greg LeMond, the first American to win the Tour de France. I think the Tour is hands down the toughest, most brutal, athletic contest on the planet since the days of gladiators. I rode in a few amateur races back in the day.

But I find it unremarkable that Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs. In fact, I think the drug issue has taken the shine off of virtually all major sports record, most off baseball. Barry Bonds may be a great hitter, but he was dirty. So was McGwire. So was Sosa. They don’t deserve to be mentioned in the same breath with Hammerin’ Hank or the Babe.

And by the way, International Cycling Union, stripping Armstrong of those seven titles will not strip the vision of Armstrong’s backside from all the other riders who finished behind him seven times.

Perhaps it is fitting that Armstrong admits all this on Oprah’s network. Ironic that such a huge non-story gets pub on a network that apparently no one watches unless it gets replayed on an actual TV station.

And hear me out on this one: If you defund cancer research because the guy who is leading the charge took performance enhancing drugs, shame on you.

Double shame.

Triple shame.

Get off your high horse and help people who are researching cancer. Lance Armstrong’s drug use should not the be reason you don’t help people find cures for cancer.

And Manti Te’o. What’s there to say about a guy who has a pretend girlfriend?

Nothing.

Seriously.

Nothing.

So there’s a college football played with a pretend girlfriend who may have knowingly lied about it.

Where’s the news there?

If you think this is significant, then you have serious needs in your life. Needs like reality. A job. A hobby. A book to read.A sock drawer to organize. Something. Anything.

Let’s move on.